My … Diary?
Journal Entry #3
I guess I should make something clear to you. I know this diary isn’t personal, and I’d hate to ruin your reading experience, you lying piece of shit.
With the passage of time people come and people go. That I can deal with; it’s the people that never came at all who continue to pack the growing bags beneath my eyes.
Part of me is sorry. Another enraged. I have so many years left that it seems like I’ll never run out of them. But somehow, on that single day, I lost an entire lifetime. And no matter what I do, I can never get it back.
I just want you to know. I blame myself for not stopping you. For not putting you in this cage instead the other way round. But at this point it really doesn’t matter who enchains whom. It doesn’t matter that you’re the master now and I’m the slave. We’re both miserable and nothing we do to each other can ever change that. This fight we’re having, this hatred for you that still keeps me warm at night, it’s all just a distraction from the fact that we both failed to sculpt this world into something resembling the beautiful.
For now I think it’s best I tell our story. Perhaps once I tell it to ourselves, we will finally receive from our actions what our soul really wanted: transcendence. Don’t scoff; allow me this final ember of hope.
This next part is the only truth I’ve found from what we’ve done to each other and to our world. It is important to remember it always.
I am not made of one, I am made of many.
Each and every person is made up of many smaller people. Everyone has a saint. Everyone has a lover. Everyone has a sinner. Everyone has a monster.
What defines us is not what people we have within us, but which people we develop most and how great those people become.