Welcome to The Cover Contessa's stop on the 400lb gorilla blog tour!
Matt Danmor thinks he's lucky. Not many people survive a near death accident with nothing more than a bout of amnesia, a touch of clumsiness and the conviction that the technician who did the MRI had grey skin and hooves. Still, it takes time to recover from trauma like that, especially when the girl who was in the accident with you disappears into thin air. Especially when the shrinks keep telling you she's just a figment of your imagination. So when the girl turns up months later looking ravishing, and wanting to carry on where they left off, Matt's troubled life starts looking up. But he hasn't bargained for the baggage that comes with Silvy, like the fact she isn't really an English language student, or even a girl. Underneath her traffic stopping exterior is something else altogether, something involving raving fanatics bent on human sacrifice, dimensionally challenged baked bean tins, a vulture with a penchant for profanity, and a security agent for the Dept of Fimmigration (that's Fae immigration for those of you not in the know) called Kylah with the most amazing gold-flecked eyes The 400 Lb Gorilla is caustic, (vampire-free) introduction to the Hipposync Archives: Contemporary fantasy at its sparkling best.
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D.C. Farmer's Top Ten
D.C. Farmer's Top Ten
Top ten things that scare me the most.
1) The exam dream. Yes, I still get it now and again. I'm there, inappropriately dressed, walking in to finals and realising that I'd got the day wrong and had not prepared. Or waking up and realising there's a day to go and I'd better get started and do some revision. Probably a form of the old fear of failure dream. Hate that.
2) 3.33 AM. Someone said that this was the real witching hour. And yes, I quite often wake up and look at the clock and see 3.33. Why, I have no idea. My own suspicion is that I probably wake more often but I've programmed my brain to acknowledge 3.33. There's a ton out there about this. Maybe I am half evil (666
2).But...some people suggest that maybe people wake up once at 3:33am, think ‘what a coincidence, all the threes!’ and then manage to subconsciously programme themselves to wake up at the same time on subsequent nights.On the other hand, if your slightly myopic or a little bleary eyed, perhaps every time could read 3:33am. Some digital clock displays fade over time until it can be a struggle to read the numbers, especially if you’re half asleep. Whatever it is, it happens all the time and annoys the buggery out of me.
3) Cats. Well not really cats per se. It's what's going on behind those big eyes. I have a cat. We rescued him and he was rather feral to begin with and is now the boss of two chairs in the house (He alternates). I also have two dogs ad there is no doubt in my mind who rules in that hierarchy. The cat will sit on a step and send out a clawed paw towards the dog as it walks past. And don't get me on playing with its 'live' food. Just watch and you'll know why a plastic mouse squeaks and squeals the way it does….
4) Mr Dark, The illustrated man from Ray Bradbury's 'Something Wicked This Way Comes". It's one of my favourite reads and the way that Dark inveigles himself into the lives of the inhabitants of Green Town is a masterclass in slowly building evil
5) The Dust Witch from Something Wicked this Way Comes. Eyes sewn shut, sensing emotions, sniffing out the hiding boys. Still sends a shiver down the old spine.
6) Myself. Sometimes, on dark winter nights when I'm in the zone and writing about things no truly sane grown-up should be even thinking about, the wind will rattle the windows, or blow a twig against the door and I'll feel that swooping contraction inside. The one that sends a signal to my brain and says, yes, it is just a twig, but what if it isn't? What if it is a restless spirit finally trying to reach out…
7) Not blood and guts. I'm a surgeon. Cut off as many arms and legs as you'd like, dangle as many eyeballs on two inch long bits of manky optic nerve. I'm immune.
8) Really big snakes that can swallow crocodiles. Yep, saw it on the net…
9) Drunk people. Probably something to do with having worked in the E.R. during my training.
10) Religious fanaticism. Every day I hear about or read about people doing unspeakable things in the name of their faith. Probably why I invented the Ghoulshee for the 400Lb Gorilla. Faith is a balm for the soul in many people's lives, it is also probably the most dangerous human virtue.
There, nothing like ending on a lighter note, is there?
1) The exam dream. Yes, I still get it now and again. I'm there, inappropriately dressed, walking in to finals and realising that I'd got the day wrong and had not prepared. Or waking up and realising there's a day to go and I'd better get started and do some revision. Probably a form of the old fear of failure dream. Hate that.
2) 3.33 AM. Someone said that this was the real witching hour. And yes, I quite often wake up and look at the clock and see 3.33. Why, I have no idea. My own suspicion is that I probably wake more often but I've programmed my brain to acknowledge 3.33. There's a ton out there about this. Maybe I am half evil (666
2).But...some people suggest that maybe people wake up once at 3:33am, think ‘what a coincidence, all the threes!’ and then manage to subconsciously programme themselves to wake up at the same time on subsequent nights.On the other hand, if your slightly myopic or a little bleary eyed, perhaps every time could read 3:33am. Some digital clock displays fade over time until it can be a struggle to read the numbers, especially if you’re half asleep. Whatever it is, it happens all the time and annoys the buggery out of me.3) Cats. Well not really cats per se. It's what's going on behind those big eyes. I have a cat. We rescued him and he was rather feral to begin with and is now the boss of two chairs in the house (He alternates). I also have two dogs ad there is no doubt in my mind who rules in that hierarchy. The cat will sit on a step and send out a clawed paw towards the dog as it walks past. And don't get me on playing with its 'live' food. Just watch and you'll know why a plastic mouse squeaks and squeals the way it does….
4) Mr Dark, The illustrated man from Ray Bradbury's 'Something Wicked This Way Comes". It's one of my favourite reads and the way that Dark inveigles himself into the lives of the inhabitants of Green Town is a masterclass in slowly building evil
5) The Dust Witch from Something Wicked this Way Comes. Eyes sewn shut, sensing emotions, sniffing out the hiding boys. Still sends a shiver down the old spine.
6) Myself. Sometimes, on dark winter nights when I'm in the zone and writing about things no truly sane grown-up should be even thinking about, the wind will rattle the windows, or blow a twig against the door and I'll feel that swooping contraction inside. The one that sends a signal to my brain and says, yes, it is just a twig, but what if it isn't? What if it is a restless spirit finally trying to reach out…
7) Not blood and guts. I'm a surgeon. Cut off as many arms and legs as you'd like, dangle as many eyeballs on two inch long bits of manky optic nerve. I'm immune.
8) Really big snakes that can swallow crocodiles. Yep, saw it on the net…
9) Drunk people. Probably something to do with having worked in the E.R. during my training.
10) Religious fanaticism. Every day I hear about or read about people doing unspeakable things in the name of their faith. Probably why I invented the Ghoulshee for the 400Lb Gorilla. Faith is a balm for the soul in many people's lives, it is also probably the most dangerous human virtue.
There, nothing like ending on a lighter note, is there?
Thanks so much for being here today, D.C. It was great having you!
TOUR SCHEDULE
June 23rd
Such a Novel Idea (http://suchanovelidea11@gmail.com)
| Review
Book Lovers Life (http://bookloverslife.blogspot.ie/)
| Teaser
Mythical Books (http://www.mythicalbooks.blogspot.ro/)
| Interview
June 24th
Deal Sharing Aunt (http://www.dealsharingaunt.blogspot.com)
| Review
KellyVision (http://Kellyvision.wordpress.com)
| Excerpt
Coffee, Books, & Art (http://sarityahalomi.blogspot.com/)
| Book Highlight & Giveaway
June 25th
Fuonlyknew ~ Laura's Ramblins and Reviews (http://fuonlyknew.com)
| Review
The Cover Contessa (http://www.thecovercontessa.com)
| Top Ten
Good Choice Reading (www.goodchoicereading.com)
Interview
June 26th
Dalene's Book Reviews (http://dalenesbookreviews.blogspot.com)
| Review
WS Momma Readers Nook (http://wsmommareadersnook.blogspot.com/)
| Excerpt
Deal Sharing Aunt (http://www.dealsharingaunt.blogspot.com/)
Review
June 27th
Tanya's Book Nook (http://tanyasbooknook.blogspot.com)
| Review
Little Whimsy Books (Http://www.littlewhimsybooks.tumblr.com)
| Review
Platypire Reviews (http://platypire.com) | Review
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Once a successful doctor of medicine, DC Farmer now works two days a week for the NHS and, thanks to the wonders of Krudian physics, the other nine days a 011-Dyl-011week for Hipposync Enterprises, as a scribe.
Hipposync was established in the early fourteenth century as a purveyor and publisher of rare books, the sort of stuff you are not able to get elsewhere and which contains information as varied as how to guard your castle against the Hordes of Maltasub using Harpie blood and tar, and how to change a beetle into a useful toothpick.
Of course, you will have gathered from all of this that Hipposync is, in fact, just a cover. What lurks beneath that thin veneer of respectability (yeah, right) is much, much more interesting. Hiding behind an office on the banks of the canal in Jericho, Oxford is the Department of Fimmigration (as in Fae immigration). Hey, there has to be one, otherwise just anyone could walk in, right?
DC’s role in documenting the work of the Fimmigration Service has, over the years, led to the realization that the world needs to know. Moreover, if he doesn’t tell someone soon he is going to burst. So, within these pages you will find actual accounts of the splendid work of the Fimmigration Service, beginning with The 400 Lb Gorilla–a sample of which is also on this site, and which will soon be published in its totality by Spence City once appropriate clearance from the ‘authorities’ has been obtained.
Some people say that this is contemporary fantasy fiction. Believe me, it’s real enough on planet hipposync.
DC Farmer is alive and well in darkest West Wales.
Thanks so much for hosting. Very much appreciated.
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